Conversations in Castro Valley

An observation was expressed in my most recent column. It was about the use of my backyard as a staging place for good experiences during the many months of good weather we experience here in Castro Valley. Why live inside when the days and nights are enjoyable in my backyard? Despite its smallness, it is a pleasurable setting in which to eat meals, read, write, and engage in conversations with friends. My garden flowers each day with different hues and appearances. A utilitarian gazebo and cabana provide added character to each day. The purpose has been to leverage our good weather to enhance the quality of the immediate months ahead. As I continue to build upon this foundation, I recently added another factor to augment this experience. It was to establish a “conversation club.”

With this a question emerges. What is its purpose? It is based upon an assumption. When good people gather, good things happen. By gathering in my backyard patio an added assumption is included. The external setting is a better one than an internal one. Place often impacts our perspective and our performance when we engage with others. Gardens and patios provide a different feel than a room inside a house can. It is a mood thing. Unstated conditions govern our monthly gatherings. They include being civil, respectful, nice, and appreciative. Whether our engagements are open-ended or subject focused, the expectations for behavior are palpable. It is unlike what we often see in public settings or on electronic theaters of television and the internet.

There is an added theme that runs through the stream of our visits. It reflects the character of our town and the people who reside here. It is a view I have previously expressed. It is that we are a subtly sophisticated town. My recent article about Pete’s Hardware comes to mind. It is a town resource for matter-of-fact problem solving. It operates better than our political leaders do, and without the overhead. Having lived in New York and Washington, D.C., I have constantly found that conversations with people here in Castro Valley are competitive in terms of sophistication. This view will be an element in a lecture that I have been invited to give in the Fall in the Hudson House Lecture Series at Long Island University.        

The creation of this conversation club also helps to fulfill a deep need within the appetite of our daily diet. And, with that, it is also a matter of physical and mental health. It is the issue of isolation. Covid compounded this problem as has our addiction to electronic entertainment and education. Television and the Internet are tools for us to use in the gardens of our lives. Although we may befriend them, they do not befriend us. Hence the need for conversation, particularly with friends and family. As we can befriend them, they can also befriend us. It is not something that can be guaranteed. It can, however, become a two-way street rather than one-way. If we tend to the gardens of our lives, we have a better chance of experiencing flowers that bloom, rather than never emerge. A quote from Yeats captures this essence: “Good conversation unrolls itself like the spring or the dawn.”