Thanksgiving: How Grateful Are You?

Thanksgiving is here again, and so obviously, my focus is on gratitude. Gratitude is one of those things that we all know we should do more of, and if we really think about it, there are lots of things to be grateful for. However, once the day gets started, it’s so easy to forget that list of things. It only takes a couple of red lights, a rude person in the coffee line, or getting cut off on the freeway, and then poof! The world becomes terrible and is out to get you.  

Ok, so maybe that’s a little dramatic… or maybe it’s not. I meet a lot of people going to different events. What is so fascinating to me is how we really want to complain, but then we try to cover it up. For example, I’ll ask how someone is doing, and they’ll respond with, “Things are a little rough right now, but I should be happy with what I have.” It sounds like a good sentiment, right? The person is trying to focus on the positive despite the challenges. But here’s the deal. The fact that the complaint was the first thing expressed means that the person is still suffering. That means that even though they want to be grateful, they’re not actually able to be grateful. Remember,  a positive and a negative emotion cannot coexist. Can anybody relate to this? Or this is often where I try to smile on the outside while still being angry about the issue on the inside. I’ve been there on multiple occasions.

The reason why I’m so curious about gratitude is because successful people talk about it. Gratitude is part of the foundation of their success. They took a bad event in their life and became grateful that it happened to them. They share that the event became critical for their success. It is a 180-degree flip from what I would have expected.

The logical step for me is to start developing a gratitude practice. Make a list of all the things you can be grateful for. Some people, such as I, like doing it as an eyes-closed process. I bring up the memory so I can experience gratitude. You do it long enough and you start to feel pretty good. The issue is that once I stop the exercise and I start my day, I shift out of the place of gratitude a little too easily.

As a result of these examples, developing a gratitude practice seems to be the logical next step. Take a few moments to think about what you’re grateful for. Find the big things, but also the small things. Be grateful you have food to eat, even if it’s not great food. Be grateful to have a roof over your head even if rent is high. Be grateful to your heart for beating and your lungs for breathing for you. Be grateful you woke up today. These are all great things, and at the same time, it felt like a lot of work. 

So the perspective shift that I’ve been working on has been shifting from having a gratitude practice to being a grateful person. It’s a small shift, but it has big implications. A gratitude practice means you’re coming up with a list of things where you feel gratitude and it’s about having to put in the reps. Being a grateful person means you are grateful for ALL your experiences, as you experience them.

Can I be transparent and vulnerable for a little bit? This sounds really, really, really, really, really, really hard! Intellectually, it’s pretty easy to comprehend. Living it though, can it be done? Can I be grateful for the moment, even if it’s a difficult moment? If I could, wouldn’t I become To be a grateful person means that you are grateful for all experiences that come your way, as they’re happening. It’s so easy to fall out of that state. All it takes is to be bulletproof in a way. 

Now, I don’t know how achievable this is. I do believe we’ll always have that part of us that will find the negative because our biology requires it of us. But I can’t help but imagine living in a world where even if something unkind happens to us, if we responded with kindness and gratitude, what would the world look like?

You could say I may be a little naive to pursue this world. However, I’d like to think that the more people who pursue this way of living, the more impact this can have in this unkind world we live in. And for the time of year we’re in right now, I believe there’s no better time than Thanksgiving to start this practice. 

So, I have to ask. What are you grateful for?

Coach Kev helps people find calm, clarity, and confidence in their lives while becoming a grateful person. Contact him at kevinkoocoaching@gmail.com, or follow him on IG and YouTube @kevinkoocoaching