The End (of the Year) is Here
Happy December. Have we really arrived at the end of the year? Every year seems to feel this way - the beginning of the year starts off a little too slow, and the end comes a little too fast. So, a quick check in… how did the year turn out for you? Are you where you thought you’d be?
As I was reflecting on the year, it reminded me of an exercise my business coach gave me years ago. It felt a little dark at first, but by the end of the exercise, I was quite appreciative of it, and it gave me some clarity on what was important to me. The exercise?
Imagine you’re planning your own funeral. Six people in your life will stand up and say, in one sentence each, how they will remember you and what they will most remember you for. They will talk about the qualities that made you so special. Since you’re planning it, you get to determine what they say. Remember to keep it to one sentence. As you look at the six statements, start crossing off the ones that feel less important. Keep doing this until you’re left with one statement. This becomes the most important statement for you.
What goes on your list?
I went back to look at my responses from when I first filled it out seven years ago. It was interesting seeing how some of my thoughts have changed, and how some things haven’t changed at all. The intent didn’t change, but I think the emotions behind them have changed. If anything, I feel more strongly about who I want to become more than ever. I think that’s a good sign that I’ve more or less stayed on the path for me.
I like this exercise because you start with the end in mind. We never know when our time is up, and so we aren’t able to delay developing our character. We can push off tasks, but your integrity or internal compass will always know if you’ve lived up to your own standards. We know when we’ve fallen short of our own expectations, and those, at least for me, have been the greatest source of shame and embarrassment. So rather than let those shadows grow, I choose to shine the light on it and see what I can change today. I think as I’ve grown and experienced more life, I’ve come to appreciate people who also choose to do this for themselves.
This type of work is highly uncomfortable. There isn’t much feel-good, or inspiration involved in this because you’re looking at all the “mistakes and mess ups” you’ve made. But there’s something very powerful about going through it. To me, it created a sense of identity that could no longer be shaken. People could call me out on my faults, and it wouldn’t bother me… because I already called myself out on it. It helped center me when things got a little (or very) crazy because I knew my strengths and weaknesses, so I knew when to push through or when to ask for help. I became able to sit with myself, without distractions, and be comfortable with myself.
As we wind down the year, my urge for everyone is this: Rather than focus on outward success, focus on inner recognition and peace. How are you living out the statement that is most important to you? How can you do that today? Maybe right now as you’re reading this?
Let me know what your insights are from this exercise.
Coach Kev helps people find calm, clarity, and confidence in their life while keeping the end in sight. Contact him at kevinkoocoaching@gmail.com, or follow on IG and YouTube @kevinkoocoaching and come meditate with him at https://bit.ly/kkcmeditation
