Your Mess is Your Message
This week, I thought it would be a good time for a quick check-in. I don’t know what it is, but people are comfortable opening up and sharing their difficulties with me. It’s truly an honor because sometimes they don’t even share it with their own spouses or loved ones. I have a mentor who shared with me a statement, which is the title of this article. She had gone through some truly horrendous things. There was so much shame and humiliation tied to those memories. However, she was able to heal herself enough to realize that what she had gone through gave her the strength to help others. Her mess became her message, and she was able to help others heal. In case you’re going through some stuff, I wanted to offer up a story I heard that I think may help.
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years, this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived as a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.” The bearer asked, “Why? What are you ashamed of?” The Pot replied, “For these past two years, I am able to deliver only half of my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you don’t get full value for your efforts.”
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion, he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.” As they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wildflowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it somewhat. But at the end of the trial, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again, it apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day, while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”
As far as I can tell, we’ve all gone through some serious stuff. Some are worse than others, but nobody has lived up to this point unscathed. For some of us, they’re age-old wounds. For others, they may still be raw. We try to cover up our wounds in an attempt to seem perfect and fit in with everyone else, not realizing we’re all wounded.
I believe I’ve been gifted with the sight to see what’s good in people. I really am grateful for it because it gives me hope that we can all do and be better. What breaks my heart, though, is when people don’t see the good in themselves. They are the cracked pots of our society. They actually have a lot to give and have been giving, all the while thinking they’ve been a burden.
In case you are feeling like the cracked pot, read the next few words carefully.
You are seen.
You are loved.
You are cherished.
Coach Kev helps people find calm, clarity, and confidence in their life while enjoying the flowers on the side of the road. Contact him at kevinkoocoaching@gmail.com, or follow on IG and YouTube @kevinkoocoaching
