Youth Voices: My Cultural Disconnect
Calling myself an American feels more accurate than saying I’m Chinese and Korean. I’ve never felt as connected to my Asian culture as others in my ethnicity, and I’m unsure how to reconnect.
My father is a second-generation American; his parents are from Korea, and my mother is from Indonesia, with Chinese heritage. She immigrated to the United States at 25.
Despite this rich cultural background, I grew up as a typical American kid. I remember loving food like corn dogs when I was little. While I would still eat delicious Chinese and Korean food, American culture was carefully integrated into my life.
These three cultures surrounded me, and my parents always explored others through food and travel.
I always thought I was culturally knowledgeable, but I soon realized I did not know much about my Korean or Chinese roots. I felt an invisible disconnect from my heritage.
A huge part of it is language. I attended Chinese school when I was around five or six and learned a little Mandarin. Unfortunately, I dropped out and cannot recall words or phrases I knew.
Nowadays, I don’t speak any language besides English and a little Spanish from school. I tried joining a Mandarin class but was not accepted due to limited space. I ended up taking Spanish my freshman year, and I decided to continue Spanish throughout high school to be in an AP language class by my senior year. Sometimes I regret it, but I’m too far in high school to change languages now.
Sometimes, I feel disconnected from traditions and holidays. We celebrate the Lunar New Year, but not fully with every custom. Usually, we have a special dinner together, wear red, and receive red envelopes. I’m happy it’s part of my culture, but I wish I knew more.
On the other hand, I know little about Korean culture besides the food. We don’t celebrate any holidays or traditions, and I don’t see them in my day-to-day life.
As a 16-year-old sophomore now, I don’t have all the answers yet. I hope that as I grow older, I’ll have more time to learn about my roots and my culture in depth. I’m hopeful that I can reclaim the parts of my culture that feel lost now and apply them to who I am.
