Growth is Not Comfortable
The Castro Valley Fall Festival was this last weekend, and it seemed like so much fun. I say that because I didn’t get to go. Why do you ask? Well, because I was too busy working and taking care of things at home. I don’t regret not going because I was taking care of important things, but I can’t help but feel some FOMO (fear of missing out) when there’s such an amazing event like Fall Fest, literally 5 minutes away from me.
I bring this topic up because I wasn’t this busy just three months ago. But as someone who talks about manifesting and stretching yourself to achieve your goals, I wasn’t just talking the talk; I was also walking the walk. In July, I came into some new contracts for my behavior business working with adults with developmental delays. The increase in the number of contracts was wonderful, but I’m now very busy taking care of those contracts. As a result, I had to step away from a few different groups I was a part of, and it did not feel great doing that.
This brings me to the focus of today’s article: Growth is not comfortable. Life was decent a few months ago, so I wanted more. It seemed so nice to dream about having more business and making more money… until it actually happened. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in a great place now. I just didn’t think through the realities of getting what I asked for.
First, I didn’t think through was how busy I would be. I’m basically working 7 days a week, and I have to be very intentional about how I use my time if I want to be a husband and father as well. I knew I was going to be busy, but not this busy.
Second, I didn’t think about how I could have planned better for this. It was naive of me to think I could personally take on all the contracts that came in. When I planned it, I should have also planned to hire people to take on the work. I remember a common piece of advice: if you’re going to ask, ask intelligently. Well, when I asked, I just asked for more work/money. It was too broad of a focus. I should have been more intelligent and asked for more work/money and the team to support the work.
Third, and this one was the most surprising, was that I would be missing out on the social aspects of my life. I was part of two local groups where I saw friends every week and stayed in touch with them. However, when I realized I would become quite busy, I stepped away from those groups so that I could do a good job. It was the right decision… but I miss my friends. On top of that, my wife was playing quite a few tennis matches, which meant I was watching from the sidelines with our son. It was a fun time cheering her on and seeing her enjoy the game, but FOMO is real, and watching her play made me miss playing, too.
I share all of these because even though I got the business growth I wanted and am technically “succeeding” in achieving my goals, it isn’t always feeling great. John Maxwell always talked about how you have to give up to go up. In the beginning, when you have nothing, it’s easy to give up things because the things you have aren’t very good. But as you grow and accumulate success/wealth/fame/etc., you need to sacrifice more often to get to that next level. Said another way, you need to give up the mediocre for good, give up the good for great, and give up the great for awesome. If you grow enough, at some point, you’re going to have to give up things you actually like. That’s been my biggest lesson (so far) in this journey. I have no ill will towards any of it, but there is a slight sadness that comes with leaving behind the things, activities, or people you like.
What about you? Have you experienced what I’m talking about in your growth process? From what I understand, it’s perfectly normal to go through this. Even if you know it’s going to happen, it won’t get rid of the feelings of the experience.
My hope for you is that as you grow and change, you learn to embrace the discomfort. Then, you can reflect on the fact that you’ve grown through previous discomforts and that everything will be okay. I wish you all the best in your growth journeys.
Coach Kev helps people find calm, clarity, and confidence while adjusting to discomfort. Contact him at kevinkoocoaching@gmail.com, or follow him on IG and YouTube @kevinkoocoaching and come meditate with him at https://bit.ly/kkcmeditation
