How the Spice Girls Can Lead You to Success

Recently, I wrote about clarity. I shared how my cataracts were affecting my vision, and I didn’t even know it. I believe there are situations where we think we are seeing clearly when we’re actually not. That’s why there is so much confusion about what we’re supposed to do. What’s the right diet and workout for me? Do I invest in crypto? What car do I drive? What state should I live in? How do you know what direction to take?

I feel lame quoting the Spice Girls, but it seems appropriate. “Tell me what you want, what you really really want.” When I add the two “reallys” and I think and feel what I really really want, my perspective starts to shift. Around the age of 10, I stopped caring about toys. My mom had just bought me a Nerf gun for my birthday, and I was bored of it after two weeks. After that, I realized I liked toys but didn’t really love them, so I decided not to buy any more toys. I do play video games though. That seems like a young age to come to that conclusion, and you would never guess based on the amount of stuff in my house. However, the lesson here was, to spend time and money on the things that matter to you (aka what do you really really want?).

If you came into my house and room, you would find a lot of things related to food. During our kitchen renovations, we spent a lot of money on the appliances we wanted to use. Why? Because we wanted to host parties, especially for the family during the holidays. I really really enjoy cooking, so I got the different cooking gear, cookbooks, knives, etc. to experiment and learn so that I can do all the things. How well I execute is another question… 

You see, typically we think about what we want on a surface level. Yes, I would like 1 million dollars, but why? It’s not really the money I want, but it’s about the freedom that the money would create. We want six-pack abs or a bikini body to be noticed by others, meaning we want attention, not the actual body shape. We want nice, fancy vacations because we want memorable experiences. We want to own a business because it can bring us more freedom and flexibility than our current job.

The main point to all of this is, that if you sit with this long enough, you’ll begin to know what it is that you really really want, which then shows you what really matters in your life. Here’s what I’d like you to do. First is to write down all the things you really really want. After you’ve come up with your list, ask yourself why you want it. You may need to ask that question a few times.  

For example, you write down that you want more money. Why? Because you don’t want to worry about your bills and rent. Why? Because you want your family to be stable. Why? So, you can focus on playing with your kids, rather than stressing about whether or not you need to skip dinner so your kids can eat. Oh. Now we’ve made some interesting insights. Two things jump out at me. The first is you want to be a present parent. That’s something you can do right now. It takes discipline, but you can absolutely be focused and present with your kids. The second thing is finding a way to make more money. That might take time, but you can start to think about what kind of work and where to apply, or maybe start a side hustle, then start taking action on it.

By going through this process, you’ve actually created a plan for how to move forward. Do you know what’s so magical about that? Instead of something you really really want, it’s becoming something you can really really have. Let me know if you want some help to get on this path.

Kevin Koo coaches people in personal, business, and leadership development while singing 90s pop to himself. Contact him at kevinkoocoaching@gmail.com