What If Things Worked Out?

Have you ever had an issue with someone or something? Have you ever had a perspective shift or gotten a new piece of information that completely changed your perspective on that person/situation? In my personal development, I became fascinated by how a little perspective shift changed how I felt, sometimes within seconds. Today, I wanted to offer a perspective shift to help us end the year on a strong note, whatever that means for you.

First, I want us all to recognize and accept that our brains are wired for survival. This means that as we go throughout the day, the brain is scanning to see if there’s anything that might kill us. It was quite an important function back in caveman days because we regularly had to protect ourselves from the sabretooth tiger or whatever predators we encountered. The brain regularly asks, “What could go wrong?” 

However, if you haven’t noticed, we no longer fight off predators daily. Compared to caveman times, we have very few threats going on in our daily lives, at least here in Castro Valley. So, I thought, does it still serve us to keep asking ourselves what could go wrong? 

With my coaching clients, often they choose not to move forward with an idea or a feeling they have because there are so many reasons why it won’t work. Then, I simply ask them, what if it works? What if things went right? Who could help you through this? With this different question, they land on different answers, which give them more momentum to act. 

I came across this while playing tennis. When we get a chance to hit an easy shot to win the point, that shot is called a winner. Every tennis player loves hitting winners. For social/lower-level players, such as myself, we go for winners, but we tend to miss them. Part of the problem is that when we go up to hit the ball, we focus on how we would mess up the shot. “Don’t hit it into the net.” or “Don’t hit it out.” Focusing on what could go wrong usually has us hitting a loser (not a tennis term) instead of a winner. What makes it worse is that it confirms the thought process. “I was right, and I knew I shouldn’t have gone for that shot. I knew I’d mess it up.”

By shifting the focus to where I want to hit the ball (what if things went right?) I increased my chances of making my shot. Now, you can miss the shot even if you have the right focus, but that will likely be a technique issue. But even if I do miss the shot, I can troubleshoot what to fix from a more positive perspective. If I did miss the shot, I figured out what needed to be fixed; then, I’d try it again when I got an opportunity. The more I worked on this feedback cycle, the more I could improve within that session. 

So what’s something you’ve been wanting to do, but you’re dragging your feet? Are you telling yourself all the reasons why it can’t happen? Maybe the cards are stacked against you. Maybe you’re not the right age/gender/ethnicity. Maybe you don’t have the skills (yet). But what if things worked out? What if it could happen? What if things aligned just right so that you could accomplish it? What would you do starting today?

Coach Kev helps people find calm, clarity, and confidence in their lives while figuring out what’s going right. Contact him at kevinkoocoaching@gmail.com, or follow him on IG and YouTube @kevinkoocoaching